Present Portal

Giving and receiving presents is an important part of any celebration. See how the grand traditions of Lowemannzeit can make it work for you.

Creating Your Present Portal


The image of a sizzling pink [portal features very prominently in Norgenlore, because it is through these glowing pink portals that the legendary, ridiculously attractive, man-faced lion the Norgenchewer emerges from the time stream and into your home. If you're lucky he may leave you a gift, or even eat your kids.


The truth is, it's highly unlikely that the Norgenchewer will actually visit your home, because he's probably busy doing awesome things like hoverboarding in the future or banging Cleopatra. So just like with that terrible Santa scam you and your loved ones may have to provide your own gifts. (And maybe, just maybe, if you get it right he WILL visit you, or at least someone pitying from the future in a futuristic lion suit).

How To

So to honour the Norgenchewer (aka Golden Leon, aka The Lion Prince of Time) you should arrange your presents in a circle on the floor. (It is preferable that you wrap your presents in traditional pink and gold). These presents should be laid out on Norgen Eve but not opened until you are costumed up on Norgenmorn.


However, a circle of gifts is really not enough to tempt a Norgenchewer sighting. What you will need is some kind of Norgenbait to place at the center of the ring, such as a live infant, a ragdoll effigy, some meat or maybe even a Norgencake.

Present Ettiquette

I hear you. You just can't possibly afford to participate in a present based new holiday at the beginning of June. WELL, THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE DEAD WRONG!

The true meaning of Lowemannzeit isn't about spending money (although it can be). It's about having fun, probably getting drunk, and being awesome.

This isn't an excuse to gift someone a pair of socks, or a new bike or anything like that. There are special rules to the present giving and they go a bit like this:

Contribute gifts to the present portal that will lead to a fun weekend for everyone.

It's as simple as that!

Gift Ideas

Gifts That Cost Money

These are all appropriate experience sharing gifts:

  • A bottle of spirits.
  • A dvd.
  • Music.
  • Board games.
  • Video games.
  • A pack of cards.
  • A tube of lubricant.
  • Firecrackers.
  • Craft supplies.
  • Lego.
  • Things to eat.
  • Kittens.
  • Boxing gloves.
  • Kites.
  • Crazy hats for everyone.

Gifts That Are Cheap or Free

  • Make a mix tape.
  • Give a massage.
  • Make a set of cards.
  • Get a hoop and a stick.
  • Find an old tennis ball.
  • Rent some movies.
  • Make your own moonshine.
  • Invent a drinking game.
  • Paint a picture.
  • Paint a face.
  • Offer to let your partner do you in a humiliating way - like, you know, with a clown watching.


There's a billion other things you can come up with to make your Lowemannzeit special so be creative and think about how you and your loved ones can have the most awesome Lowemannzeit ever.

Just make sure that whatever you choose to do and contribute that its fun and awesome. Each of those brightly wrapped boxes should reveal an experience to share. Everybody can participate!

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