The creating and consuming of the Norgenfeast is an important part of the Lowemannzeit Day celebrations as you will need to fortify your stomach against the vast amounts of alcohol that will be destroying you from the inside.

Please note that we have not included traditional, time-honoured recipes on the grounds that a) You wouldn't make them anyway, b) You'll be too drunk to make them anyway, c) We couldn't think of any. But if you can think of something that's Norgenappropriate then don't be afraid to drop us a line on our contact page. Lowemannzeit is a collaborative celebration.

Let your imagination run wild while cooking your Norgenfeast - almost anything goes - but here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Portal Food


A basic rule: Foods that look like portals are great.

Pink donuts are nature's Norgenportals. Stock up on these, you're going to need them. Eat them throughout the day. When you can't eat them anymore, start threading them on parts of your body.

Onion rings are also good. Calamari rings too. A spiral cut ham is great too if you can find one. Otherwise you may wish to spend some time cutting ham portals. If you can think of other ring-like foods then stick them in the comments section. And the fridge.



In his pre-lion life the Norgenchewer was a hunter. In his lion life he ate chubby kids. Meat plays a very important part in this holiday. It's probably important that (many) animals died. If you don't eat meat, and are fundamentally opposed to it then don't worry, you can still participate in Lowemannzeit. From outside. Possibly in a cage.

Ignoring the double entendre and be sure to go nuts with your meat over the Lowemannzeit weekend. Experiment with it. Combine it in interesting ways.

Another basic rule: If in doubt, wrap it in bacon.

The American Team of the International Lowemannzeit Preservation Foundation also remind us that meatloaf provides the building blocks to a meatcake. In fact you can pretty much sculpt anything out of it. What better way to make your meat tribute to your crave Depp-face God?

And why not try a German sausage? Lowemannzeit hails from Faux Germany!

Or Fuck It, Just Order a Pizza

You're probably going to be drunk, so why not just order a pizza. They are round and could pass for a portal if you poke a hole in the centre. (Have you ever seen that website?). Pizzas are portals. To Italy.


Whatever you do, don't forget that every good Norgenfeast ends with a Norgencake. Follow the link to get some ideas for yours.

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